30 Seconds

I was having a bad morning recently.  I was back in a court room for the first time since my sentencing back in early 2017.  On that day I pled guilty and was sentenced to concurrent 7-year prison terms for committing felony armed robberies at a small bank.   

Now I was back in court to seek a modification to the terms of my probation.

During the proceedings back in court I was faced again by the same prosecutor from 2017 who wanted to lock me away for the rest of my natural born life.  She was vindictive then, and vindictive still. 

Anyway, I left court angry at the way this prosecutor portrayed me and my family to the judge.  She bent the facts again to fit her narrative.  I am ashamed to admit it, but I was riled up. 

Well, honestly, I was pissed. 

Immediately following this court appearance, I was on the road, driving up to a prison in Massachusetts to do a library installation as part of my job for Freedom Reads. 

I was so pissed leaving the courthouse that I failed to see how low I was on gas as I ventured up the interstate and onto the Mass. Pike.  I made it to the next gas station, and I was saved from the humiliation of running out of gas. 

Still seething, I pumped my gas and went inside the mini mart to use the rest room and buy a bottled water.  I got to the cash register and found that the attendant was not back there. 

Then, something magical happened. 

 At first, I did not notice the young girl who was sitting behind the counter and coloring in her holiday coloring book. 

“Someone will be right back to take your money sir” she peeped out. 

“My goodness, this may be one of the cutest little kids on the planet!” I thought.

I asked her, “do you want to take my money?” and her response was priceless.  As she pondered my question, she began to look at the cash register and think about whether she could perform this task on her own. 

I quickly let her off the hook, “No I can wait for the cashier.  What are you coloring?”

“Santa Clause wearing a green coat.” 

“Beautiful.” I remarked. 

“Yeah, sometimes he wants to wear different colors, not just his red coat.”  Her tiny voice squeaked. 

At that point the cashier returned and told me that she is watching the manager’s daughter for a little bit.  I paid for the water, said “goodbye, keep coloring, Santa looks great in green!”

“Thank you for coming to our store, have a good day.” She peeped.

I got just outside of the door, heading back to my truck. 

Then, like a sledgehammer, it hit me. 

I stopped in the middle of lot, looked up at the blue sky and puffy clouds and realized what had just occurred.  “Have a good day” the little voice echoed in my head. 

This was a gift. 

The universe sent me here, to this little artist.  It was cathartic beyond description. 

I passionately believe, and preach the power of PERSPECTIVE, and its power to get us through.  I walked into a mini mart in a foul mood, still carrying the anger of my interactions at the courthouse earlier. 

Now, as I stood there, in the middle of the parking lot, looking up, laughing, I said aloud “Okay, I get it.  Thank you!”.

The pure joy of my thirty second interchange with this little angel had completely flipped me.  It was the universe and God sending me a message to have PERSPECTIVE and let go of the earlier angst.

I am free.  I am not in prison.  I am not the evil man that prosecutor continues to portray to the world.  I am flawed, yes. I have made grave mistakes and hurt people in the wake of my destructive, addictive collapse and fall.  That said, I am on a good path, and with the help, love and support of many, I continue to make steps in getting back to being a father, husband, son, and productive citizen once again.

There is so much beauty and wonderfulness in the world, and we are all presented with gifts all the time.  We just need to keep our head up, and our soul open.  With our head down in pessimism, anger, misery, shame, guilt – we won’t see these gifts.  They CAN and WILL change our psyche, but only if we let them in.    Even when we are mired in stress and even anger, we need to constantly remind ourselves to keep our head up and our eyes open. 

We can all turn a difficult day around if we let the universe give us the gifts and opportunities.  It may be a simple interaction with another person, or a cool breeze at just the right moment; maybe its hearing the joyful sounds children at play as we of drive past a park or schoolyard; or perhaps the smell of fresh baked bread as we walk past a bakery.  Trust me, there are so many gifts out there!

My little friend, in just thirty seconds, reminded me of all of this.  And so, the message for today is twofold. 

Part two of this message is to remind us that WE can, and need to be, like that little girl, open to helping others.  You never know how a simple interaction may shift someone else’s day.  We all need to help each other see the beauty and the gifts that life has for us. 

The Hawaiian people have a word for it; Kokua, which means that we have a responsibility to help and assist others.  Times will happen where we find ourselves on either side of this equation; being the recipient in need of some PERSPECTIVE; and being the giver who shines a tiny light into others’ dark moments and trials in life.  It is our responsibility to be a light to each other - and that light can often happen in under 30 seconds. It can simply be being nice to someone who may be having a bad day. 

Ted Williams, the greatest pure hitter to ever play baseball, who played for the Boston Red Sox —would tell his kids “You have an obligation to make something better if you can.”  

We have, as humans, an obligation to each other. 

Gandhi asked us “to be the change you wish to see in the world.”

We each have the power to change the world for others, and many times we can do it in under thirty seconds. 

In thirty seconds, this little girl moved an angry grown man to stop and laugh aloud, to find joy in the world.  It brought me back to my message of PERSPECTIVE and reminded me to listen to my own advice; to seek out the good things in my world, to see that the glass of life is half full; versus half empty. 

Thank you, gas station girl, you are remarkable and wonderful, and I owe you one.